Why is this my Office?

The Law Firm I work at is like a combination of The Office, Office Space and Mad Men. Everyone at one time or another has worked with a Michael, a Phyllis, a Jim, a Dwight, a Lumbergh, a Peter, a Michael Bolton computer nerd, a Roger, a Don, a Peggy, a Joan.

Last week was Cake Day at the office for the February birthdays. My boss, Carl, has Cake Day marked in his Outlook Calendar every month with a pop-up reminder. Everyone was in the staff room chowing down on sugary cake with globs of icing when one of the older lawyers, Harold, came in to the staff room. He stopped, looked around and asked, "Who here is serving the cake?" Apparently, there were no more pieces of cut cake left on the platter. Everyone pretended not to notice and kept on chatting and eating. Finally, Harold went to the oldest (and-should-be-retired) secretary in the office, Doris, and asked her to serve a piece of cake for him. Now, Doris is one of those people who has been a secretary at the firm for at least 40 years and always claims to be so busy, but no one is exactly sure what she does. Before heading off to cut a piece of cake for Harold, Doris looked around to the rest of us as if to say "Why is this MY job?"

I had to chuckle to myself as this incident would have never occurred 40 years ago, and definitely not on Mad Men (my favorite show). Joan would have been right there serving the cake....or making sure someone does it while she smokes her cigarette. Today, when people are asked to do something that is just outside their "job description", they immediately say, "That's not my job." Whatever happened to going the extra mile? Is it worth it? Do people even notice?

There are some amusing parts of the job, I must say. One of the old-school lawyers at the office, Irving, is just like Bertram Cooper from Mad Men. Pleasant and eccentric. Instead of walking around in sock feet around the office like Bertram does, Irving walks around in winter mukluks. He is also known for his original outfits. Each article of clothing comes from a different decade. A typical outfit for Irving would consist of a 1970s loud patterned button up shirt with splashes of kelly green and purple, paired with 1980s beige pleated pants, a 1960s wool tan vest and the mukluks. Good old Irving.

Harold, the other old-school lawyer, is also pleasant, but is very needy. He uses at least five different secretaries to do endless tasks for him such as revising a Will, revising it yet again, typing an email for him from his work email so it looks like he typed it himself, filling out his health claim forms, retrieving exactly two office postage stamps from the petty cash box everyday, photocopying personal correspondence and phoning our computer tech guru when Harold has received way too many spam emails promoting personal growth and other informercials.

Aside from clear office changes such as banishing smoking indoors, political correctness, women having prominant roles in business and the fact that casual wardrobes have infiltrated all offices, some things never change. The politics, the innuendos, salary fights, promotions, cattiness and BS have all remained the same.

To cope, people eat and bitch with members of the same reject team. A highlight at the office is when the Candy Man comes by the office every two weeks selling snack items. Other people cope by indulging in a drink or two at lunch or later that afternoon at work. Some people have a mickey of something in their desk, nestled among the Candy Man snack items. If someone is brave, they will confront the manager/boss about problems, only to be told Lumbergh-style that "hmmmyah…..we’ll have to bring that up at the next Partners meeting…hmmmmyah…..hmmmmyah….." while drinking a cup of bad office coffee.

Our nerdy computer tech guru, Michal, has created the worst office computer network system ever known to civilization. Anytime the system slows down or files mysteriously disappear from a folder, Michal will use the excuse, "well, yah the power went out last night" or "that’s a good observation, I will have to check into that"….never to hear from him again until the next problem arises a week later. I wish someone would just fire Michal already. Additionally, it would be nice if he spelled his name like how he pronounces it –"Michael".

No wonder movies and shows are made spoofing office life. The inspirations always come from a real source!